I was on Skype with the fantastic Nick LaBorde from Locationless the other day, and thank GOD he was a great ear that provides eye opening insights.
I had to talk to someone and I almost feel bad that Nick had to be my venting pole. One of my issues, like many life changing things that occur, is that no one can really prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster and stress that comes with traveling the world. It is kinda like getting married – you really have no clue what the hell you are about to get into. I’m not saying I regret getting married, but no one really knows how hard being married can be sometimes. It has its frustrations.
It is times like this that I wish there was a manual to life. A manual to save you from the heartache, the insomnia, the weight gain/loss, that comes with making life choices.
I’m starting to realize that, while I understand the payoff of traveling is fantastic, nobody is talking about the emotional mess that you become as you are heading out. All those loose ends that you tie aren’t that easy to tie. All the people that have been depending on you for emotional support, well you have to end that as well. There are tears. There are second thoughts.
Holy crap, it IS like getting married!
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Wow – so topical!! All I can say is, yes…YES! Totally feeling you girl =)
I can totally empathize!!
I sympathize, lady. We are not putting down roots here in Ireland, no matter how much we like it, because we are planning on taking off for the digital nomad lifestyle in the next year or so. Our kitty, who was initially going to come over and be with us here (got the shots, the documentation, the tests, everything!) is probably going to stay in Rome with the family. And while missing family is hard, I’m much more of a critter person. So sad about our kitty. Still, she has a nice yard and plenty of room where she is; she’d be in a dinky apartment here.
I have read a few posts like yours — don’t think you’re alone. I seem to recall that Jenny (http://whereisjenny.com/) had a few similar moments, especially when she started getting rid of her stuff. Really starts to hit home then!
Have faith, girl. This will all soon be but a happy memory — and the awesomeness will begin! *hugs*
It is indeed a rollercoaster of emotions. You should have seen my posts from nearly 4 years ago when I was prepping to hit the road full time.. what a mess I was!
And.. wish I could tell you it all goes away once you get out there. But there will be days where you seriously consider what the hell you’re doing. Hopefully in the end, the good far outweighs the second thoughts.
It is hard. It’s supposed to be. If it wasn’t, everyone would do it. I remember keeping it together as we did our final packing…and then my mom called…that was it. I pulled it together just in time to see a simple little bon voyage email from my sister…waterworks again. It’s all part of the journey….up and down…and it will continue once you get on the road…but it’s okay. Really, it’s okay.
It’s so true, traveling a lot, especially if this is done alone, certainly is fantastic, but can be very hard. But please don’t get despondent, you can meet many many great people (also some not so great!) and you can also meet some of the bloggers around the world. If you come to Shanghai let me know 😉
It’s true, but all the best things in life are those that are difficult to do. Work on changing the things that you can influence in your own sphere, and don’t fret about the things that you can’t change. It all works out in the end, no need to stress much about it!
RTW trip is not like a mini vacation we had twice a yr type of thing. It’s a big event like you said. Similar to planning a wedding and the stress that comes with it. I’m sure the payoff will be great and you’re traveling with your husband which is even better. Someone to share every emotion with you on the road. I hope you the best and don’t be stress. I’m sure it will be wonderful!
Oh girl I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Its crazy how one day or week you will be fine and dandy then another freaking scares, frustrated, nervous or one of the other million feelings that comes along. Planning a RTW is not easy, but we know its going to be worth it in the end. Keep your head up your almost at TAKE OFF!!!
Just remember – that the minute you step on that plane, it will wash away. I mean, you will have moments of homesickness and guilt along the way, but all the anxiety and fear will just be gone. You are going through the scariest and most stressful part right now…
But the payoff? OH. SO. GOOD.
=)
P.S. Your penguin sheets are the COOLEST!
Oh lord, I hear you. I feel that way now and we’re still 10 months from leaving. Most of the time I feel comfortable with the choices we’ve made, but there are times that I start freaking out about giving up our house and all of our things and I’ll email Brian with the most preposterous ideas like “if we do X, Y, and Z then we can rent the house instead of sell it and our dogs can live there and we’ll find someone to housesit” or whatever. There is a lot of stress involved in shaking up you life like a Yahtzee cup!
@Andrea: ♥ I’m not sure I’m being redundant with what other people are saying but I am so glad to find kindred spirits.
@Alexis: Thank you! <3
I have never been married but before I left I was petrified and full of anxiety and the moment I passed through the airport security it all washed away and I was overcome with this reassuring sense that I was doing the right thing.
You are too.
A manual to life would be awesome, but then again, if there was one life wouldn’t be half as much fun 😉
I found that the hardest thing with traveling the world was to leave the certainty behind.
By changing my associations to uncertainty, and rather than being scared of it be excited – made a big difference.
@Ayngelina: I’ve never had an older sibling and I’m happy to have you as my sound advice.
@Sofia: True true – Honestly, after today’s drama, I’m very ready to leave certainty behind lol!
It’s not the trip that’s hard it’s changing your life. I 100% agree. Changing your life to take the trip is extremely hard. I totally underestimated just how hard it would be. There were days I felt so bad about myself and wondered if I had totally screwed up my entire life. But Ayngelina is right, the minute you get on the road it’s going to make sense. Once I hit Italy I had a couple weeks under my belt and felt I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Trust me, it will be worth it. I can’t imagine my life if I hadn’t gone through these same struggles to get to another place.
I’m really glad that I could help. I’m also relieved that you are bringing this reality to the forefront, because no one else is. We tend to focus on the awesomeness of our upcoming adventures and forget about the dark side.
I don’t think that it’s totally hit me yet, but it has to a lesser extent.
I’ve never been married so I can’t really relate to that analogy, but I’ve witnessed enough marriages to know that it’s not easy.
I am thankful for you. And thankful that you brought this issue up. I was hiking with my friend and chief Ninja at Matador, David Miller, and we talked at length about the state of the travel blogosphere and decided not enough people were discussing the negative aspects of travel, the emotional roller coaster as you put it. Travel is not an on/off switch that makes you happy, gives you insight and makes you a better, smarter person. In fact any idiot can travel the world, I share a room with one incidentally and he snores like a silver back gorilla.
It is not all cheesecake and fellatio, unlike marriage 😉 , there is loneliness, anxiety, guilt, regret and a load of other baggage that doesn’t go away when you set out for a voyage.
I got your back!
@Bethany: Oooh! The changing your life aspect – never thought about that!
@Nick: It will hit you a wee bit later. Sometimes I feel like I’m batshit crazy. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t the only one. I’m starting to think I’m a martyr for posts that need to be written but no one has the balls to write.
@Josh: It really is a shame that more people aren’t talking about it. Seriously though. I feel as though I am going crazy and there are no blog to reflect that what I’m feeling is normal. Everything is always hearts and puppies and I’m tired of feeling alone in the matter.
Yes, even when I went to short trip like a week of two, still can’t help to feel something, something not all pleasant. I can’t compare to this with marrage because I didn’t have one, but when I do, I will let you know.
@Juno: I totally count the 1-2 week trips in there!
It’s funny how I have never had such a feeling. I am always so excited about heading out that I don’t recall having second thoughts about. However I can understand that many people might feel differently, because as you very well say you don’t really know where you’re going and what you’re going to do.
@Federico: You are so lucky that you haven’t had to ride the emotional rollercoaster that I’ve been on the past few weeks!
YES. it’s so easy to leave a bad life. not so easy to leave a good one 🙂 it’s rife with self-doubt, oscillation, confusion, pain, worry…DAMN! traveling must be some great shit for us to put ourselves through all this, right?! lol. but it is! so great you’re allowing yourself to feel it all. if it get’s too overwhelming, just refocus your eyes on the prize doll! um, and remind me to do the same before i leave, k? 😉
@Lorna: Seriously! Travel must be worth is for the heartache involved! I have to refocus often. The preparation is getting really hard the closer the date becomes.