As I write this post we are currently 3 days out of our flight home.
As you read this, we fly out TONIGHT. We are homeward bound.
No, we are not going to stop traveling. Yes, we still have a LOT of content from our last days in Argentina.
I thought I would write something down while my mind is going crazy and my heart is racing. I apologize if this is the most un-grammatically correct thing you have read in a while – but it is true to the heart.
I’m scared to go home.
I’m not scared OF home but I feel like I belong out here, roaming the world, answering to the gypsy blood in my veins.
It is so hard to explain to family what I’m feeling. I’m not sure that they will ever understand. It isn’t that I don’t want to see them. It isn’t that I don’t want to meet my new niece that was born while we were traveling.
I hate that I’m made to feel guilty for not being gung-ho about coming home.
Oh and stress – OH GOD THE STRESS – I haven’t felt this messed up in a really long time. I’m tired. I’m depressed. OMG MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT (oh wait, no, I’m a girl with long hair).
There are things at home that have drama. We try to stay away from drama but it involved us even if we are 3000 miles away from home.
I feel like I’ve lost friends. People I could lean on – no longer. People I could talk to – well, they moved on with their lives. Rightfully so (I’m trying to convince myself) – we haven’t exactly been at home. We aren’t exactly going to be at home in the future.
As we board our plane I know I’m going to cry.
But there are a few things I do have to look forward to:
- Meeting my new niece.
- Hugging family.
- Shooting an amazing wedding.
- Seeing my best friends.
- Feeding my food cravings.
- Going to Iceland!
- Heading to Europe!
- And getting ready for the very big possibility of teaching in Japan.
Latin America has been so amazing. South America was my favorite of the two. I can’t imagine being able to fall in love with another place so deeply (besides Japan).
It is weird to think about the fact that we are being forced into a new part of our lives. We cannot linger here forever.
Our money has run out. Our time has run out. It is time to go home to prepare for the future.
And I’ll be DAMNED if Over Yonderlust disappears. We’re sticking around come hell or high water.