Calm, serene… life is going at the pace it should. At YOUR pace.
Then imagine this:
You have been off the speed train of “obligations” and “commitments” for so long and everyone expects you to run full speed in the States like you never left. Welcome to your homecoming.
Oh, and then trying to become a “citizen” again. Insuring the car, going through the bureaucracy of putting it back into our name, cell phones, passport pages, doctor’s appointments, getting Shaun set up with his new job, getting new insurance, oh look, the old insurance apparently didn’t cover everything and we have a collection agency on us while we were gone?
money. Money. MONEY.
There is a reason I’ve been putting off this post as long as I could. We have been back in the States for 2 months now and I’m just getting over what happened to us.
Oh there were tears. Lots of them – and a depression so deep I’ve can’t believe I pulled myself out of it.
You don’t really expect to be slapped in your face with disappointment when you get home.
- Two people showed up to our welcome home party when 80+ said goodbye (half because we didn’t have cellphones 2 days back in Austin).
- Being called “lazy freeloaders who take advantage of family” by an unnamed family member.
- Or unnamed family members not even bothering to ask us questions about our trip and just pretending we were here the whole time.
- There were so many times I asked myself, “What am I doing here?”
- Everyone had moved on. We were no longer in their lives – and that was the hardest pill to swallow.
Luckily, two months later I’m handling being back in the States a bit better. I tried to put off this post for a reason due to the animosity and negativity I felt for so long. I’m able to see much more clearly now that things are looking up.
There are a few things that have helped me through everything:
I’m trying to look forward and not backward. I’m trying not to dwell on the bad. It is definitely something I’m working on myself.
I learned that I do not want to live in the USA for the rest of my life. I’m not getting into the politics of that but lets just say that travel has been eye opening. Now we just need to figure out exactly what we want to “do” with our time outside the States (besides the blog).
I’ve realized we are NOT living in Austin right now. We are just visiting for a few months. We aren’t currently paying rent. I’m just not sure my friends and family realize that yet. We aren’t staying – and while I’ll miss my family, I’m relieved that we can escape again.
I finally got to meet my new little niece who was born while we were in Colombia. She is by far one of my favorite things in the world. Seeing the supportive family was awesome as well. Lots of hugs to go around.
We did get to meet up with friends after a few weeks of us being here. I just wish we had more money to spend on things like that. It is expensive going out to meet people.
I got to be part of a friend’s wedding by being the photographer!
Shaun got a job at Bioware to help us save money more quickly.
I do realize that all good things do come to an end. Coming back from the voyage of our lives was enough to realize that.
I can say that another voyage is going to begin later this year. I can start looking to that next high, that next journey, that next step to feeling truly free.
I am so glad that you will be with me while I go through these adventures. Thank you for being my support system and cheerleader these past few years. I owe everything to you.